回味过去.之.金发啊莲变未来太太

SHUHUI – 金发啊莲变未来太太

A typical classic ah lian should have the following traits:

1. Has golden strips of hair
2. Has a small mini butterfly tattoo on her finger
3. Must have that layer of eyeliner
4. Must of coz tok and laugh like one
5. Being superstitious
6. And LASTLY, MUST HAVE WORN THAT ARMY PRINTS TOP BEFORE!

And yes, if u have all the above. Please classify yourself as one of the top classic lians ever. And need i say more? The woman we’re toking about in the pictures, sure, defintely, confirm has got all the traits that i’ve mentioned. WHO can ever forget her in that Army print top, did not attend the Orientation of poly on the 1st day and ermm only came on the last day, wearing her very own, again ARMY printed top (coz ge kiang nv come for 1st day orientation loh, din get the goody bag loh, so nv get the orientation t-shirt on time loh) and joined in. And so as hard as we try to be friendly and nice (coz the orientation leader asked us to) she still remains as that ah lian, forever. IN OUR HEARTS!

This ah lian, much as she’s lian but she has her adorable side too, toking like a chip munk sometimes, behaving most of the time like a crazy women (ehh, ok lahz, last time i oso act crazy with u before mah) without fail has actually brought us quite a bit of laughter. Laughing at her being silly and ridiculous. But of coz we love her, coz without fail she’ll stand up for us like a 大姐大, the one khaki of mine who sometimes talked back to the lecturer, got all black faced together. Ooh and i must say she’s one of my bestest toilet khaki in poly after dixie loh.. Haha, go shit oso must always “JIO” each other. We must have been crazy can, ask each other go smel each other’s poo. Haha..

It’s amazing how at times we have countless and countless of things to talk about, one of the bestest to bitch with coz we have common topics sometimes, like i use to date one of this chao ah beng from her secondary sch, n also how we bitch (ok oni i bitch, happy?) about this ger from her secondary sch who die die wanted to have a share of my pretty bf.. Yah yah, all this just becoz she came from a secondary sch which i hated the most! Coz of all these bad pple i noe, k minus shuhui loh! Oohh and of coz her being a fellow girlguides did help to increase the topics we can talk about, but k lahz, she’s a better girl guides den me loh. LIKE THAT HAPPY? CAN LAUGH?

And so sometimes her silly actions like acting retarded, acting like a dumbass and all, really just makes us a little happy. And not forgetting her bad kissing habits when no one actually wants to reciprocate that kiss. She nv nv nv fails to want to kiss US (i secretly suspect she’s lesbian loh, if not she must have got some fetish for our sexy lips or wat).

But oh well, we do hate her at times! Really, coz she’s got that boobs that all of us are dying for (k, i noe DIXIE, i noe u dun die for hers, coz urs gd enough), big enough and yet often so humble to say hers not very big. PLS LOH SHUHUI, PLEASE MIND WAT U SAY LOH, u noe sheryl very sad when u say yours not big loh.. Coz if your’s is small, den sheryl have nothing loh.. Shuhui, u get it? U get how painful it is for sheryl to have to admit that she’s got nothin when yours is small? Yes, just say u get it. PLEASE! *evil laughter, but pleads with sheryl not to scream at me* And also, this big neh neh, nv nv fails to make me carress her back whenever we go for sun-tanning sessions in the past. Making me lather on all the sun tan lotion of her back so she can get a good tan. I machiam like some filipina maid massaging her master loh (i admit my skin color filipina lahz, happy?? can??)… But still, we nv fail to forget to laugh, i think that was the best thing we could have done. And it seemed like we haven done it for a long time.. Basking under the sun, toking abt everything and noting, not having to worry about assignments projects and now even work. We had no worries to have to worry about..

Yes and i must even thank this ah lian coz she introduced me to a job as sales assistant during one of the breaks we had. But honestly, i hated that job, coz that place full of ah lians selling clothes loh.. and i cannot even blend in with them, coz i noe lian enough can. Haha.. But still got to thank her so i get to experience abit of the wokring life with lians. watever shop name it is, taxi or busstop, i cannot even remember, but i sure remember she sure has a big name there, coz seems like everyone noes her loh. She’s just THAT BIG LOH!!!! Nv mess with her coz many of her fellow lians will come after you, that’s really what i tot of her when i 1st met her loh! haha….

Need I say more? A lian will always remain as lian, but she’s a rich lian loh… (Hor shuhui, gd loh, rich loh.. Contribute abit to us lahz.. dun ge gao lehz…. now u dun need work oso can afford many things loh, please lah, give me lehz…) *deb singing: gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme* (sounds like britney spears right?)..

N please loh shuhui, dont tell me cannot take pictures of 3 people together loh. Coz u oso got take picture of 3 before loh.. See see i got evidence loh.. Haha… Such a superstitious lian u are. Perfect perfect lian!

回味过去.之.丑金刚牙黑妞

SHERYL – 丑金刚牙黑妞

1st of all. Janel, you’re so wrong loh. I’ve decided to put SHERYL 1st! haha, coz i cant wait to mock at her. Really really really.

I’m so quite extremely really very sure that our 1st impression of this used to be pimply and with bracelet girl is that she’s so freaking damn TALKATIVE! haha.. Seemed like she’s the bubbly and like-so-long-nv-open-mouth-and-tok kind. Haha.. And how can we forget, i think the 1st friend she made in poly was dear Mr CHARLES. The rich one, who obviously think that we’re so poor to the extend that we cannot even afford a glass of “very delicious” strawberry milkshake from SIM. Please loh, i really need to complain loh.. Since when we cannot afford that cheap 4bucks milkshake. Puuuuurrrrrrlllllllleeeeaaaasssseeeee LOH!

Okay, back to Sheryl. I dont even know wherei should start. The first year we met her, she’s all nice, always the peace-maker who tries and pacify the angry me and dixie whenever CHARLES makes a stupid insensitive comment. HAHA! K lah, i petty loh, i not happy he think i very very poor and not happy he nv use his brains leh. k lahz k lah, it me. And so anyway, she’s so ever enthu in sch, be it projects or outings, and the only one in our group to take part in CCA. Making herself endlessly busy, having to juggling sailing and projects.

The only major problem i had with her in school, ehh i think not only me loh, i think dixie oso loh, HOR DIXIE?? is Sheryl’s extremely bad mood swings and ultra charcoal black face. Honestly, her’s is the most classic black face that i’ve ever seen, so black that the people around her gets affected just by looking at her face. Really loh, most of the time when she’s black face, anyone in the project group will also feel affected. However, becoz she’s hardworking enough, often we forgive her black face coz we’ll try and push more work to her.. Haha, k lah, we very bad we bully u. But oso bully for so long liao, just forget it k sheryl dear? haha..

But of coz she has her sweet moments that we cannot forget, like baking of cookies, writing us cards and making use of her bestest effort to make us damn soggy sushi. haha, and ever since, we never want to try her Sushi’s anymore. But i guess, the most memory we had was prolly at her home. When in poly, her parents were both working, and her nanny had just gone back to her hometown, so whenever we had long breaks or wanted to skip lessons, we without fail will just simply gather at her place, snuggle up in her bed, messing up her place to do all sorts of things. Picture taking wearing her mum’s clothes and posing like nuts (only dixie n i went, dunno y, think we had to do project or something like that), bitch, shared some intimate gossips more and more and more… Her place feels like a home to us too. a place where we soemtimes find comfort in, with very warm-welcoming parents, and friendly siblings. What more can we ask for, when we get to chill at such good places? the only bad thing – It’s god damn far from our place. she’s the only one staying that area loh!

Ooohh and how can i ever ever ever forget another impt point that we dislike about her? I TELL U, SHE’S NOT NAMED THE LATE QUEEN FOR NOTHING LOH! She’s just amazing, but let’s not go into details, coz i dun want to make it sound like i hate her loh. Thou i do.. Ok lahz ok lahz, i dont hate u, but i just have an issue with late comers. Does it sound better like that??? Haha, Sheryl, please dont give me that black face again k. Please! haha.. K k, i can forsee what you’ll tell me.. “Ehh, I’m not so late now anymore hor”. Ok ok, got improvement but i think not gd enough lahz, just try harder.  

But Sheryl is really so Sheryl, no one can ever mistaken her i guess. her big butt, the way she whines, ooh and the way she shares a bed with us whenever we go on stayovers and outings. God, i swear no one wishes to slp next to her. Coz for sure, we either get kicked out of bed or we’ll face hearing “argghh, hmmmm, haiiiii” (please brainwash if you’re thinking dirty), and it can get quite irritating esp when you already lack slp and just wish to slp a little bit more. But she just has to stop every single bit that moment we need. REALLY SHERYL, YOU NEED TO CHANGE THAT HABIT, IF NOT YOUR DEAR BF FOR SURE WILL HATE U.. and really i pity him from the bottom of my heart, (uses hand to punch on chest to show brotherhood to binghu), i support you if u really need to tell ur gf how irritating it is to slp next to her. Dont worry, just speak the truth!

Haha, oohh and we never fail to disturb her on how she cannot pronounce certain words, and i remember i kept a book with all the words she cant pronounce, and she’s the winner lohz! haha.. I must go find the book some day and give the examples, but the most distinct one that all of us will never forget (CORRECT NOT MY DEAR GIRLS, LETS ALL SAY IT OUT LOUD WHEN READING THIS)… READY? 1……. 2 ……. 3……..

 

“EGG” = 8 EIGHT

Yes, we’re so right it’s the classic single word that we never fail to laugh at her. And she had it blame it on her braces for making her speak like that, but please loh, it’s so not true, coz even after she removed her braces she still pronounce 8 as EGG. Really corrigible loh!

EGG yo EGG yo EGG yo EGG yo EGG yo. Kk, it’s nonsensical now. Right! Anyway and so, we’ve seen her most unglam crying moments (esp that time when dixie accidently hit Sheryl’s braces with her jacket’s zip), happy cannot contain her smile moments, stress with black face moments, angry moments (rarely, cz she dare not show her anger, oni show unhappy black face).. All in all, with all this bad points we still love her. COZ REALLY SHE CAN BE THAT LOVEABLE AT TIMES. but i hate it when she tok to me on msn and TELL me that i miss her. Wah lau, never see such thick-skinned people before loh..

Haha, ok lah ok lah, dont be angry. Dont you think after reading this entry, you seem to be able to understand yourself alot more better?

And to make you feel a little bit more happy.

K LAH, u became prettier when you start working lahz. But not say u damn pretty lah, looks better compared to poly days lohz.. haha, when u were all so tanned, with lots of pimples, braces that you change colors every now and then (asking us what cols u should change, and having green and red ones on christmas), really you did become better. HAPPY? But wait, hold your BIG MEGAWATT SMILE! COZ your dark rings are getting worst. Haha.. BOO!!!

Till den girlfriends. And the next and last one. Just be extremely prepared….

Oops sorry. and i just suddenly remember u do have odd sense of clothings in poly, esp that alibaba pants that without fail makes our day. Coz we can have a good luff at your butt! BIG BUTT 万岁万岁万万岁!!!!!